It was December 30th, 2009. The familiar, always out-of-tune chimes of Happy Birthday filled the room. The notes, if you could call them notes, bounced off walls. I was fifteen and, fairly happy because all I could think about was “I’m going to be done with middle…
1.) Live music shows, definitely. There is nothing else that fulfills me the way live music does. Seeing the band members, the moving crowd, the sweat, the dancing, the screech of feedback from the amplifiers…it does more for me than anything else.
2.) Sometimes if I stop and think about it too hard, and it happens to be 1 in the morning or later, there are certain people that I miss. Former lovers, friends that changed or moved on, etc.
3.) Stumbling upon news articles describing cruelties that have happened to both animals and people. Nothing gets my blood boiling like inhumanity. I don’t understand how some people can be so unconditionally selfless and kind, while others don’t have any empathy or compassion in their hearts at all.
4.) Definitely Persephone. She has always been my favorite. I read her story for the first time when I was 12 in one of my middle school CORE classes. I was so enthralled by the story that I stole the mythology book so I could read it again and again. I love her so much, but not because like, “OoOoOhHh the wife of Hades, qUEEn of the UndERworlD, so spOoooky!” (which is what most would assume because I’m so cliche) but more because of what she represents: the subconscious mind, hidden intuition, the vast world of emotion. Elusiveness, secrets, beauty. She is my court card as The High Priestess in my tarot deck.
5.) Unfortunately even though I sometimes work in the film industry, I couldn’t even tell you the name of five directors. So lame, I know; I apologize. Its hard to pick just one horror movie but if I had to, it would be House On Haunted Hill with Vincent Price. It was my first Vincent Price movie so I’m a bit emotionally attached to it. The Devil’s Carnival is a close second.
goodnight, sweet prince.
I am really happy that my new boss understands me so well. He gave me the best advice in the world the other day, in regards to getting started in this industry: “Wear a suit of armor around your heart. When you make connections, let them know for sure that you are in it for a career, not to be somebodies girlfriend. Don’t be an asshole, but let them know that you aren’t going to take shit from anyone. You have to be careful. In the beginning, most people that try to get you into this industry aren’t going to be anything more than tour bus drivers, or people that aren’t important. Don’t let them con you into anything.”
Im so glad my boss understands me. Most of the time when I explain to people that I want to be a road dog, and that I’m not really interested in dating, they don’t understand. My boss understands it on a whole ‘nother level, and wants to ensure that I will succeed and be an amazing technician. He tells me to get the touring out of my system, and see if I want to date later. And if I don’t, stay on the road and be happy.
21.) One of my three roommates. She is having boy problems and so I did my best to help her through them.
22.) Probably the last remaining friend from my early childhood. She has seen the best and worst of me, knows every dark crevice of my mind, and somehow still loves me anyway and never judges me, no matter what kind of decisions I make or how lost I get in life. I don’t have to hide anything from her, period.
23.) I am not looking forward to not going to college anymore. College felt like home. Everyone loved me somehow, and I felt like I found my place in the world. Finally getting a job in an industry I care about is really important to me, but its still hard to let go and move on to the next chapter of life, even if its a very good chapter.
24.) I am so looking forward to eventually becoming a road dog and seeing the world! My new boss is trying to get me to become a light technician since there are a surplus of sound engineers, and I’m so excited that he’s taken an interest in my passion and is going to help me get started on that path, even if its a field I never considered before. On a side note my new boss understands me very well, and I’m so grateful he takes good care of me and wants me to be the person I’ve always wanted to be.
25.) People of both the opposite and the same sex have told me that they’ve loved me and meant it. It was and is a blessing. How wonderful to have been loved by someone else, no matter how fleeting.
Thank you for asking. :)
Siouxsie Sioux by David Arnoff (from Zig Zag magazine - June, 1981)
the goal is to look like a sexy genderless drug addict
i feel this on a spiritual level
|—||Morrissey (via gabbyzsz)|